Which Comes First: Purpose or Marriage
Biblically, one can argue from Genesis 2 that purpose came before marriage. God gave Adam his purpose: to work and keep the garden, eat of the Tree of Life, and name the animals. Then came the wife. It’s my opinion, based on Genesis 2, that God-given purpose comes first, and then marriage comes to help fulfill it in a fulfilling way.
When we are left to mirror humans making their own choices in love, it's difficult to have both a thriving marriage and a fulfilling purpose. However, we can be assured of experiencing both in a divine match, a God-given love.
Allow me to explain. Let's say Justin has a strong sense of his purpose or his assignment from God. His purpose is very clear to him. But then just Justin is swept away by a love named Mandy that is not God's best for him. He runs after a girl without His God-given purpose being considered in the equation. He marries Mandy anyway. At the time, he does not realize that the agenda for his new mate lies in an area other than Justin’s. Here is where married life will be difficult for both of them.
Every time Justin is drawn toward his God-given dreams, it pulls at the fabric of his marital union. Why? Mandy does not see or share the passion of his dream. And if Mandy gets busy chasing what the Creator has written for her life, it will do exactly the same. It's the equivalent of a husband and wife wanting to run in opposite directions. Naturally, this is going to make for a difficult time in marriage.
Let's look at it from a different point of view. To keep harmony in the home, one or both parties will now have to ignore or delay their God-given dream for the sake of the other. They can't find a way for both to chase dreams when they are so opposite. One or both will experience, frustration or disappointment. They will not be able to fully function in what they were wired and gifted to do. There will always be a gnawing at the soul, a feeling of not quite fitting into each other’s purpose.
Demanding to find love without consideration for your divine provision can lead to needless suffering on one or the other end of the spectrum when it comes to purpose. “Can two walk together, except they be agreed?” Amos 3:3
Couples who have made their own choice in love without considering their God-given purpose can find grace, it won't mean, however, the uncomfortable differences stop. It’s more like His grace buffers the disappointment and frustration and the inital impact of your God-given purposes are reduced. Our Creator never intended for our holy calling or purpose to be compromised for the sake of romantic love. At the same time, He never meant for love to take a hit to fulfill dreams. His desire is for an alliance in love and purpose.
If you're single and desire marriage, let Jesus match you. You can get the best of both!
