Loneliness is a Liar
Coming into the holidays, we want to get in front of the singles holiday blues. This month, we are posting an excerpt from Kim’s book Veiled Unto His Pleasure called Loneliness is a Liar.
“Loneliness is a liar who bullies us into a corner of unbelief. Loneliness lies about our worth and our desirability. When we entertain those lies, we make ourselves aware of the emptiness around us. We begin to dialogue with liars--demonic impressions of untruth determined to make us desperate and take our lives back into our own hands.
Why are we so afraid to be alone? I believe we are afraid we might learn that our greatest secret fear is really true: we are not worth being loved after all. This fear is not based upon what others have thought about us. This fear is first based on what we think about ourselves. Deep down, we think we are unlovable as we are. We hate loneliness; it works so hard to push us to that conclusion. We become so desperate not to experience what we fear that we jump off the waiting track and settle for a love we can manipulate or the only love available at the time. We do whatever it takes to keep from finding out what we fear is true.
I dared to find out. I chose to be veiled, hidden from all but one whom God chose to love me. It enlisted me into a long fight with a lifelong companion called self-loathing. When I feel lonely, all the reasons why I believe I am unlovable come screaming at me. Loneliness always comes in with a low blow by using my aloneness as proof that I’m unlovable and undesirable. However, the Bible tells me otherwise. It stands in front of me, resolute in its opinion of me. It’s hard at times to believe what it says because when I close the book, I’m still alone.
I have two choices: let loneliness take me to emptiness or let the solitude of being alone take me to fullness. One leads to death, and one leads to love. It’s my choice. It takes determination to turn and keep turning away from my current reality and into His eternal truth; I am loved with an unfailing love. A perfect Man, Jesus, without any experience of sin, was compelled to be with me because He felt God’s love for me. He actually paid the way to my heart with His very own life. Every unmet desire, sense of unworthiness, shame, experience with rejection, and every fear of never being loved romantically has to answer to His cross of love for me.
The knowledge of the truth of my worth and desirability is best worked out now, without the hindrances, pressures, and conditioning of external romantique relationships. God desires that we would know His love for ourselves first so that our future spouses would not be at risk of being put into His place as first in our lives. Singleness is not a hiatus to be tolerated while waiting for a better status. It’s our chance to experience exclusive first love with our First Love and to be defined by Him first…
Loneliness. Born again, you are no longer its victim; you are its student. No longer are you to be tortured by it, but rather, you are to be tutored through it by the Holy Spirit. Don’t agree to compromising ways out of it. Don't agree to self-defeating ideas to wallow in it. Stay in it until you've learned to know and see for yourself the One Who loved you first. The ONLY One Who can promise to never leave you or forsake you.”
