Dating’s Desolate Landscape
A man wrote to a popular Podcaster, 573K Instagram followers strong, requesting dating advice. A divorced man, claiming he is now healed and ready to date, stated he had been praying for a wife for a few years. He felt God was out of the equation and not for it.
The married Podcaster ex-pastor replied with his wisdom, saying he had much empathy for people dating right now because the landscape is terrible. He used the word desolate to describe how horrible it is out there. He told him not to be discouraged and not to give up by affirming that the “right one” is out there.
The Podcaster went on to tell the story of a fish retailer who caught a Blue Lobster, with a 1 in 2 million chance of being caught, to support his advice to not give up on dating. At the end of his dating advice, he added, “For with God, nothing is impossible, Luke 1:37. God will give you what you need when you need it.”
I was single for 34 years. I lived 26 of those years with a promise from God, “There will be a man who hears My voice.” Gary’s singleness and years of living in a promise beat mine by five years. If I were single and praying to God for a spouse today in this “desolate” dating culture, this advice would have left me unmoved. I may even have been more discouraged because I would have heard that “band-aide” quote so many times before from other well-meaning advisors. If I were divorced, wanting to remarry, and now thinking God was out of the equation, I would be in a dire position for a little more substance.
It seems like 8 out of 10 Christian leaders and pastors point searching singles to the current psychology of dating, shore it up with Christian ethics to keep it clean, and top it off with a cherried “all things are possible” note. I’m frustrated on your behalf that that is the majority of what you are hearing, and rarely do you hear someone pointing you to God as the designer and provider of romantic love and marriage. If I had not been reading the Bible and letting Holy Spirit teach me God’s ways in the romantic, I would have lived out those 34 years in desperation and compromise, missing out on the greatest and purpose-filled love encounter waiting for me to experience.
I want to give you a foundation, a solid foundation from which you can believe God can be trusted to set you up with the romantic love and marriage meant for you within a “desolate” dating culture. A desolate, romantic cultural landscape does not determine your marital destiny. God does. Why will leaders declare that truth for every other area of our lives but not the romantic? Why would the romantic desires of a child of God be subject to the culture? What a grievous neglect of the Christian single heart.
Yes, with God, all things are possible, and here is why.
Take every thought concerning your unmet desires for love and marriage and lay them against these three theological foundations:
Omnipotent: the God of the Bible is all-powerful in your submitted life to Him
Omniscient: the God of the Bible is all-knowing about your past, present, and future
Omnipresent: the God of the Bible is all-present in your life
Every accusation of His neglect, absence, and ability to arrange your heart and life for love and marriage should take a knee at these three simple yet power-filled truths about His active nature in your submitted life. He is all-knowing, powerful, and present to direct your path into His purposes for your least of desires and your most intimately cherished desires.
Let me ask you, what do you do with a God Who says:
“In My book are written every day that was formed for you.” Ps 139:16
“Your steps, My righteous one, are ordered by Me, and I delight in every one of them.” Ps 37:23-24
“I have already fit all things, past-present-future, together into a plan for the good result of transforming you, which is My purpose.” Romans 8:28
“Delight yourself in Me, and I will instill in you desires for your heart to desire.” Ps 37:4
“Seek Me first and My ways, and you will experience Me giving you all you need.” Matt 6:33
“I am the One working in you to desire and to do in order to fulfill My good purpose for your life.” Phil 2:13
These are only six scriptures pointing us to His generous heart, profound power, and mind-blowing providence to do above all we can think or imagine on our own (Eph 3: 20-21). Please excuse the paraphrasing, but I believe it is essential for you to hear His word in the first person to fill in the imagined distance we can default to when we are experiencing hopelessness.
Keep these truths close this month. The current desolation of romantic opportunity IS NOT your reality. The omnipresence, omnipotence, and omniscience of a Good and perfect Father Who gratefully calls you His own is where your reality. His will is your supply of endless opportunity.
Pray’n for ya - Kim & Gary
