I hate this question

Last month, Gary and I had the wild honor of being on Brad Stine Has Issues—yes, the Brad Stine, the Christian comedian who's not afraid to go deep. He opened with my story—how I chose life after rape—and honestly, it hit different hearing him reflect on it. His compassion? Totally God-level.

Then we shifted gears and got into the real stuff: how God didn’t just heal the past, He redeemed my future—especially in romance. That’s when Gary joined the convo. One of the best parts of waiting for God’s choice in love is how it all fits with your purpose. Gary and I? We “yin and yang” like we’ve been doing this forever. And in a way, we have—just not always in the same room.

When we finally came together, it felt like we’d grown up in the same house. That “house” being Christ. God’s love story. His blueprint for relationships.

But then came the question. The one I hate. Gary doesn’t mind it—he sees it as a challenge—but for me, it feels like putting God in a box way too small.

Here it is:

“Do you think there’s only one person out there for everyone?”
“And what if you miss them? Wouldn’t that mess up everything for everyone else?”

Whew. Okay. Let’s break this down.

That question assumes God isn’t all-knowing. That He didn’t see your whole life before you were even born. But Psalm 139:16 says He did. Every single one of our days—written before they ever happened.

And this is the wild part: God’s so powerful, He wrote good plans (Jeremiah 29:11) that account for all our choices. Whether we go left or right, His purpose remains: to shape us into the image of Jesus (Romans 8:29).

We can choose our own way—there are a lot of, “makes-sense-on-paper” options out there. But that route? It usually involves cleanup “on aisle seven, eight, and nine”. Even when we lean on our understanding which He asked us not to, God will use it, (Romans 8:28), but it will lack the thrill of faith, the pleasure of God’s heart, the one in Whom you declare you love most.

Or…

We can choose His way, give up our own choice for His choice. It’s the one that doesn’t always make sense at first but leads to the kind of love and purpose that hits different. The kind of faith story that could’ve been in the Bible.

So that leads me to this question—the one most people hate to answer:

Do you want His way or your own?

I mean, I know the right answer. But when I’m honest, I still have to ask myself: Do I actually want what He wants?

That’s the fork in the road: do you want predictable, logical and responsible for the outcome? Or do you want miracles, divine timing, and a love story that points to something way bigger than you where God takes responsibilty?

Spoiler alert: His way is where the real love stories live starting with you and Him!